Archive for August, 2009

Black Russian

Wednesday, August 26th, 2009

rasputin

Donovan fed Rasputin poisoned cupcakes, then shot him, then threw him in the freezing waters of the Volga River.

Rating 2.20 out of 5
[?]

Nice Crack

Wednesday, August 26th, 2009

libertybell

Donovan thinks the Liberty Bell is a “national disgrace”.

Rating 3.00 out of 5
[?]

Runnin’ With the Devil

Wednesday, August 26th, 2009

pentagram

Donovan chose the jersey number 5 to honor the number of points on a Satanic pentagram.

Rating 3.00 out of 5
[?]

Bad Company

Wednesday, August 26th, 2009

ayers

Donovan serves on a school board with 60s radical Bill Ayers.

Rating 2.83 out of 5
[?]

Miss him, Kiss him, Love him…That Boy is Poison

Wednesday, August 26th, 2009

yuschcenko

Donovan poisoned Ukraine Presidential candidate Viktor Yushchenko in 2004.

Rating 2.00 out of 5
[?]

People on ‘Ludes Should Not Drive

Wednesday, August 26th, 2009

spicoli

Donovan agrees with everything Sean Penn says.

Rating 2.25 out of 5
[?]

Why Donovan’s Fault?

Wednesday, August 26th, 2009

donovanmcnabb
Like any sensible person, we recognize that Donovan McNabb is by far the greatest QB in Philadelphia Eagles history. Compare his stats to Van Brocklin, to Jaws, to Randall. Nobody is even close. On top of that, he is by all accounts a devoted husband and father, a great teammate, and an excellent role model. And yet, if you read the local sportswriters or listen to WIP for more than 30 seconds, you’ll hear Mcnabb blamed for everything from third-world debt to the crime rate in our city. It is so ridiculous that it’s hilarious. Therefore we decided to start combing though history, both recent and ancient, to find some more things that we can blame Donovan for. We have come up with plenty, and would like to come up with plenty more. If you’ve got any ideas for things that are Donovan’s fault, please feel free to drop us a line.
Rating 4.00 out of 5
[?]

It’s Donovan’s Fault

Wednesday, August 26th, 2009

donovamcnabbeaglescamyt7

Donovan invented anthrax.

    Rating 3.00 out of 5
    [?]